Sometimes when we first become aware of a difference, the contrast initially doesn’t feel comfortable. We may become aware of this discomfort because one of our partners or collaborators does or says something that is not what we expect or what we would do.
Pinch/Disruption of Expectations: A pinch is something that is done or not done, that violates one of our expectations or assumptions. Pinches are private. We feel them, though the one who caused the pinch may not be aware that we are confused, disappointed or have been offended. By not acting to resolve the pinch, we may come to doubt our initial judgment of a situation. We are not sure if we can trust our operating expectations and assumptions because we have been disappointed already. Tension and stress build as our situation becomes increasingly unpredictable.
Unfortunately the only thing that is guaranteed about this stage is that it will not last forever. It may last days, weeks, months, or even maybe years, but inevitably something will happen (or not happen) that causes a disruption in your expectations and assumptions. In this model it is referred to as a “pinch,” as when our expectations are not met, or are met differently than we expect. It usually does not feel pleasant.